Everything you need to know about helping your child learn how to control impulsive behavior so they can thrive academically and socially.
Most adults rarely think about impulse control because it’s so second nature to us. We’ve spent years learning how to stop and think before we act.
However, impulse control in children is still a work in progress, and some may need extra help to strengthen it.
It’s completely normal for your child to occasionally slip up, whether it’s taking a toy from another child without asking or having trouble controlling their emotions in a frustrating situation.
Moments like these are a natural part of the learning process. However, if these behaviors are very frequent or lead to more serious problems, it could be a sign of an underlying challenge or that your child needs more support.
Either way, that’s okay!
In this article, we’ll explore effective strategies you can use at home that, along with plenty of patience and a positive school environment, can help your child improve their impulse control skills and set them up for success.
What is impulse control, and why do some kids struggle with it?
Impulse control is the ability to stop and think before we act. It helps children make better choices, follow rules, and interact more positively with the people around them.
Children with good impulse control can:
- Wait to be called on before speaking in class
- Resist the urge to grab a toy from a friend
- Stay calm when a situation doesn’t go their way
Of course, no child is born with these skills. They develop over time.
However, you may notice that impulse control comes more naturally to certain children while others find it very challenging.
This is because impulse control happens in our brain’s “control center,” the prefrontal cortex. This key area of the brain helps us think before we act, make decisions, and manage our emotions.
If you’ve noticed that your child struggles with impulse control, it could be because of a condition that affects the development of the prefrontal cortex, like autism or ADHD. Keep reading to discover exactly how these disorders can lead to more impulsive behavior.
However, it’s also possible that your child’s brain is developing normally, and they simply need extra guidance to develop their impulse control skills. No matter the reason, impulse control plays a huge role in a child’s growth and success.
The importance of learning how to control impulsive behavior
Learning how to control impulsive behavior helps children:
- Build strong relationships
Behaviors like grabbing, interrupting, or speaking without thinking can make it hard for kids to build friendships.
Learning how to control impulsive behaviors fosters empathy, patience, and respect.
- Succeed academically
Impulse control struggles, like difficulty following instructions or waiting their turn, can disrupt learning and the classroom environment, impacting a child’s grades and overall academic success.
- Prepare for independence
As children grow up, those with strong impulse control skills are more likely to make smart choices when it comes to things like handling conflict, avoiding peer pressure, or managing money as adults.
- Stay safe
Teaching impulse control helps children stop and think before they act, preventing potential injuries and keeping them safe.
When we help our children strengthen their impulse control skills, we set them up for a lifetime of better decision-making, strong friendships, and greater success.
Let’s explore some practical strategies you can use to help your children develop these essential skills at home.
Five ways to improve impulse control in children
It may take time, but your child can improve impulse control and manage their actions with the right tools and guidance.
Here are five ways you can help your child learn how to control their impulsive behavior starting today.
- Delay gratification
One great way to teach impulse control is by having your child wait for something they want, like a treat or fun activity.
Start with very short wait times, around 10-15 seconds, and gradually increase the time as they improve. Delaying gratification helps children develop patience and learn to resist their immediate impulses.
Be sure to give your child plenty of positive feedback when they wait successfully.
- Create rules and structure
Having clear and consistent household rules helps children know what is expected of them.
These may include not interrupting while others are talking or waiting your turn for a toy. When rules are enforced with fair consequences and consistent positive feedback for good behavior, your child will understand their importance and improve their impulse control.
- Focus on problem-solving
If your child is frustrated because they didn’t get something they want, you can encourage them to pause, identify their feelings, and come up with a solution.
Teaching your child to think through their problems helps them learn to control their reactions and make better choices.
- Model self-control
As parents, we are the biggest role models for our kids.
They are always watching, so the next time you are frustrated, take a deep breath and make sure you are waiting your turn to speak in a conversation. These small steps show your child how to act in certain situations, and they’ll be more likely to copy your behavior.
- Play impulse control games
It’s no secret that children love to learn through play.
Games like “Simon says” or “Red light, green light” encourage children to listen carefully and follow instructions without acting on their immediate impulse.
We encourage you to incorporate these practices into your daily routine to help your child improve their impulse control skills. Just remember that progress takes time and patience.
How do other conditions, like autism and ADHD, affect impulse control?
The strategies we’ve shared above are great ways to support your child’s impulse control at home.
However, as we mentioned earlier, it’s essential to remember that other factors may affect their ability to control their impulses.
This doesn’t mean you’re not doing a great job as a parent. It simply means that your child might need some expert help to develop these skills.
In general, one of the most important ways to support a child with autism or ADHD, especially if they struggle with impulse control, is to make sure they are getting the proper support at school.
A supportive school environment can make it easier for them to focus, control their impulses, and succeed. It’s important to talk to your child’s teachers and make sure they understand your child’s needs.
We’ll talk more about how to ensure your child gets the support they need at school later in the article, but for now, here are some things you can do at home to help your child improve their impulse control.
Autism and impulse control
If your child is on the autism spectrum, their brain processes emotions, social cues, and sensory information differently than others.
These differences can cause them to act impulsively, especially when frustrated or overwhelmed. This happens because many children with autism don’t understand how their actions affect others, struggle with sudden change, and react strongly to sensory overload.
What you can do to help:
One of the biggest ways you can help your child with autism improve their impulse control is by helping them to master self-regulation skills.
Here are some effective techniques you can try at home that will help them:
- Sensory integration techniques
Activities that engage the senses, like playing with fidget toys, listening to calm music, or doing some breathing exercises, help children with autism regulate their sensory experiences and manage their behavior better.
You can even create a calming sensory room or designated space in your home filled with comforting toys and activities to help your child regulate their emotions.
- Visual supports and timers
Many children with autism struggle with transitions or sudden changes, which can make it harder for them to control their impulses when they feel frustrated or overwhelmed.
Visual schedules can add more structure to your child’s day by showing them what activities are coming next and helping them feel more prepared for transitions. Setting a timer for activities can also be a helpful way to give your child a clear sense of when one task will end and another will begin.
These tools reduce uncertainty and anxiety, making it easier for your child to stay regulated and control impulsive behavior.
- Role-play
Autism can make it challenging for kids to understand how to interact with others.
Role-playing through scenarios with your child can help them learn how to better manage their impulse control when interacting with others, in a low-pressure environment.
For example, you could roleplay a situation where your child wants a toy someone else is playing with. You can talk them through how they can best respond to this situation, like waiting their turn or asking politely, instead of taking it out of their hand.
ADHD and impulse control
If your child has ADHD, their brain works differently when it comes to attention, emotions, and self-regulation.
These differences can make it harder for children with ADHD to stop and think before they act. They may struggle to wait their turn or act without considering the consequences, because ADHD affects their brain’s ability to control impulses, focus, and manage emotions.
What you can do to help:
Here are some effective techniques you can try at home:
- Clear rules and consistent routines
Children with ADHD do best when they know exactly what to expect. Creating simple, easy-to-follow rules, like waiting their turn to speak or putting away one toy before grabbing another, can help them practice self-control.
Make sure you are consistent. When your child follows the rules, give them praise or small rewards to encourage good behavior.
- Physical activity and movement breaks
Kids with ADHD often have lots of energy and may struggle to sit still for long periods. Try movement breaks where you let them jump, stretch, or run around, which can help them get their energy out in a positive way.
You can also practice deep breathing or yoga that teaches kids how to control their bodies, which can help with impulse control.
Child impulse control disorders: when to seek expert help
So far, we’ve covered the many tools and techniques you can use at home to help your child improve their impulse control, as well as more specific strategies to use if your child also has a condition like autism or ADHD.
But if your child’s impulsive behavior is more serious, like taking big risks, being extremely aggressive, or often getting into dangerous situations, it could mean there’s something more severe going on.
Child impulse control disorder isn’t just one diagnosis. It refers to severe difficulties with self-control and can include serious behavior problems like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder (CD). Kids with these conditions can act very impulsively, often break the rules, and sometimes show extreme aggression. These behaviors can seriously affect their relationships, school, and overall life.
If this sounds like your child, it’s important to get professional help. A therapist or behavior expert can figure out what’s going on and provide the right support to help your child manage their impulses in a healthy way.
Developing impulse control in a supportive school environment
We’ve touched on this in earlier sections, but we cannot stress enough how crucial it is for children struggling with impulse control to be in a supportive school environment.
Whether your child is struggling with impulse control due to challenges like autism or ADHD or simply needs extra support, a caring school with teachers who understand them can make a big difference in their lives.
At EA Schools in Ohio, we know that when your child has the support of both home and school, they can do amazing things.
That’s why we’ve created a school where kids with impulse control struggles are encouraged, understood, and given the tools to improve. Our programs are built to work alongside the strategies you’re using at home, helping children make lasting progress in their behavior.
If impulse control struggles are affecting your child and family’s quality of life, we’re here to help!
Contact us today to learn more about how EA Schools can help your child learn how to control their impulsive behavior and succeed in a supportive, nurturing environment.
Did you find this article helpful? Check out our other blogs to learn more about alternative education and find valuable resources for your family!